Parenting as an Independent Mother
Being an independent mother isn’t about doing it alone; it’s about doing it with faith, purpose, and love.
Healing, Waiting, and Trusting God's Plan
Parenting as an independent mother is a journey of strength, faith, and deep intentionality. It’s a constant balance of providing love, stability, and guidance while also navigating the weight of my own healing. As I raise my children, I find myself hoping and praying for the day God will bless me with a husband who reflects Him, and with 2-3 more children to add to our family. But until then, I am getting grounded in the now—because the present moment is sacred.
Healing First: Breaking the Cycle
There is a saying that has stayed with me:
“Unhealed trauma repeats cycles until it’s been resolved.”
The weight of that truth sits heavy on my heart. My children and I cannot afford an unhealed mother. I refuse to make decisions predicated on trauma responses or survival skills. We deserve more. They deserve more.
Losing my daughter’s father was devastating. The chaos surrounding my son’s father has been challenging. But I refuse to let those experiences shape the foundation I am building for my children. If it takes seven years before my next relationship, then that’s okay. God’s timing is perfect. I often find myself singing Juanita Bynum’s song:
"I don’t mind waiting, I don’t mind waiting, on You, Lord."
That waiting is not passive. It is active, intentional, and filled with purpose.
Resting in God's Promises
Romans 8:18 reminds me:
"The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed in us."
This scripture grounds me. The suffering, the waiting, the challenges of single motherhood—none of it is in vain. There is glory on the other side. My children and I are already blessed. The evidence is in our love, our resilience, and the joy that still exists even after the storm.
A Strategic Response to Trauma: Homeschooling & Identity
One thing that has been heavy on my heart is homeschooling. I pray that it is in God’s will for me to homeschool before my baby reaches middle school. I believe that when abnormal things happen in a child’s life—like losing a parent—it requires an abnormal response.
Not a passive response. Not a "let's just keep going" response. But a strategic, intentional response.
Grief, when not properly handled, can shake a child’s identity. It can plant seeds of fear, insecurity, and emotional instability. That’s why I am committed to ensuring that my children are grounded in their identity, recovery, and faith.
✔️ Homeschooling would allow me to tailor their learning environment to their emotional and mental well-being.
✔️ A faith-centered home ensures that God remains at the center of their healing and growth.
✔️ Intentional parenting means I am leading with wisdom, not fear.
I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I trust the One who does.
Final Thoughts: Becoming the Mother My Children Need
My children are my greatest ministry. The love, protection, and wisdom I pour into them today will shape generations. I am not perfect, but I am committed to healing, growing, and leading with faith.
So, I wait. I trust. I heal.
If you’re an independent mother navigating similar challenges, know this: You are not alone. Your waiting is not in vain. The love, patience, and sacrifices you are making today will yield a harvest in due time.
